Sulloway gives an evolutionary explanation of birth order differences, that is, all children strive for parental investment or approval and as a result develop strategies to maximise the attention and favour they receive from their parents.
There is an almost universal idea that the baby or youngest in a family is a protected species and as a result is more likely to grow up as a less dominant personality. And middle children, because they have no unique family niche, that is, aren’t the oldest nor youngest, are they more likely to grow up a lost soul.
Maybe the personas of your offspring (or between your own siblings) fly in the face of all birth order theories? If so, you’re not alone. There are many variables and factors at play when family order and personality traits are concerned.
I’ll give you a personal example. As the second of three children, I’ve never identified with middle child syndrome. I never felt displaced or needy and I’m not an overly envious type either (backed up by my siblings themselves!). Looking at research on the subject, this may be because I’m the only girl or perhaps it was the age gap - almost six years between my younger brother, so in my formative years I was treated like the baby? Or perhaps, it was none of these reasons? The idea that birth order shapes personality is still just a theory.
In fact, a US study published in 2011 looking at the subject found that: “Despite the appeal of birth order theories, empirical research has produced results that are at best inconsistent.”
The paper also found no correlation between birth order and Sulloway’s five-factor model of child personality traits which included - extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, neuroticism, and openness to experience.
But, many psychologists today beg to differ. Parents therefore might find it useful to at least think about the potential birth order might have on kids and if appropriate, tactics, such as working to ensure a middle child feels they have an equal and special place in a family.
Summary of birth order and children’s personality traits:
First:
Neurotic and conscientious, generally more likely to be leaders. Such characteristics are often explained as a result of their willingness to please due to unrivalled parental attention and pressure.
Second:
More agreeable and easy going but less driven than firstborns. These traits may have to do with sharing parents’ time and focus from the outset.
Youngest:
More likely to be rebellious than other siblings but are often the most protected child in a family which can lead to over dependence/ poor decision making abilities.
Variables that should be considered:
- How many children in a family? Larger families are often much more complex.
- The gap between children will also play a role – gaps of more than 6 years are often considered as starting a new generation
- Gender, although little data is available, will play a part
- Ethnicity and socio economic factors will also impact
References available upon request
