Low libido among Aussie men is one of the country’s ‘best kept secrets’ according to sexologist and researcher, Elaine George.
In an interview with the ABC’s Life Matters earlier this year, George reported on her research into low sex drive in men.
“By far and large the biggest factors that were indicated were stress and fatigue,” she said of her results, which were drawn from surveys with 337 men.
“The research has confirmed that embarrassment and, I guess shyness, and the fact that it is such a taboo subject, tends to steer people away from seeking help,” she added.
As Dr Logan Levkoff explains via the Huffington Post, the reason stress impacts our libidos can be traced to hormones.
“Cortisol is one of the hormones produced by stress,” she says. “Our bodies need this hormone, but in small doses for short bursts of time. If elevated levels of Cortisol are being produced for a prolonged period of time, they suppress our sex hormones. Lower quantity of sex hormones equals lower libido.”
Here are three expert-backed ways to fight stress and save your sex life:
1. Don’t drink to numb your stress
Dr Logan Levkoff
“We know that men have difficulty getting an erection when they drink too much… As it turns out, alcohol can dull sex, making it less pleasurable. Alcohol dehydrates [women, too], making lubrication challenging. Without lubrication, sex is painful. Without lubrication and sufficient arousal, we can kiss the idea of orgasm (or pleasure in general) goodbye. After a number of pleasure-less or mildly painful sexual experiences, we are not going to want it.
“Exercise, relax, take a bath, drink one glass of wine (not four), masturbate (yes, I said masturbate), make out with your partner and delegate some responsibilities to others. It will make 2013 a lot less stressful. And hopefully, a lot more enjoyable.”
2. Sex first. Libido later
Dr Laurie B. Mintz
“This advice goes against everything we are taught. We are taught that the sexual response cycle is linear, starting with sexual desire… If you wait until you feel horny to have sex, you may never have sex again! So, don’t wait to feel horny to engage in a sexual encounter. Instead, put it on your schedule and allow the sexual encounter itself to get you horny.”
“You can get your mind and body ready for this tryst [sex], and increase its chances of being fabulously enjoyable, in a variety of ways including: think of sex during the day leading up to the tryst – in other words, fantasize; make sure there are few distractions during tryst time; schedule your tryst at a time you aren’t likely to be exhausted. For many [people], night time isn’t the right time.”
3. Care for your body and relationship
Dr Logan Levkoff
“If we feel sluggish or if we gain weight (unintentionally), it can make us feel badly about our physiques. If we don't like our bodies, it is pretty difficult to find the desire to shed your clothes and jump into bed with your partner.
“Lower self-image equals less sex and less sex creates relationship problems. Ideally, our relationship should enhance who we are, not make us feel more stressed. And one of the biggest stressors we can have is our relationship, if we don't take the time to nurture it.”
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