Giving your life meaning (when it feels like there is none).

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There’s a difference between feeling sad and feeling directionless. Every philosopher worth his—or her— chin-stroking habit has tackled the question: why are we here? What’s the point?

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There’s a difference between feeling sad and feeling directionless.

Every philosopher worth his or her chin-stroking habit has tackled the question: why are we here? What’s the point?

Well, last year my favourite Aussie blogger put his personal baggage out there for all to see, admitting that ‘meaning’ had pretty much evaporated from his life.
Here’s an edited extract of what Sam de Brito wrote in a post called ‘Next?’:

“Man, I’m gonna be glad to put this year behind me… If you read this blog regularly, you’ve probably discerned it’s been a cracker of a 12 months for me, in which my relationship dissolved and I lost daily contact with my child.

“Man, I’m gonna be glad to put this year behind me… If you read this blog regularly, you’ve probably discerned it’s been a cracker of a 12 months for me, in which my relationship dissolved and I lost daily contact with my child.

“I care about very little except my daughter now, and my life feels increasingly like a misty vale, pierced every couple of days by the sunlight of her visits.

“Everything else? I can take it or leave it.

“Now, some people might say I was depressed, but I've been this way, deep down, for the better part of 10 years, and I've still found direction, meandering as it usually was.

Don't go telling me to "see someone—I've done that.

“Yes, the point is my daughter, but that's 19½ hours a week. There's got to be more than that.”

What reaction did de Brito get?

For a blog that typically nets maybe 30-50 comments, this one pulled in 500+, with most people offering up great advice (and, of course, the occasional person deriding him for being a “whinger”).

It seems Sam really tapped into something.

He described a place many of us have been before: we know we’ve got good things in our lives—perhaps a good job and enough money to buy a house or have a cracking holiday—but still we find ourselves without a compass. We feel aimless.

This is a huge topic, granted. But I was really interested in what Sam’s readers had to say.

Here’s a taster (aka, edited extract).

How do you find direction when it seems like there’s none to be found?

1. Exercise. Don't drown in substances. Vitamin D: 15 minutes every day without sun block on your skin, essential for physical and mental well-being. Have something to look forward to everyday. Cook. Oh, yes, and the ultimate sensual pleasure: stay connected (in the flesh, not online).

Every time you think ugly thoughts about your other half, turn it around in your head with a thank you for all you had and experienced together - Nicky.

2. Trying to add something different each day to your life helps with your perspective on things. Now I'm not saying you should make drastic changes maybe go try a new coffee hangout, look for a different surf spot, or buy a new album (something completely different from what you usually listen to).—Pepi.

3. Maybe right now you don't need a next. Maybe you just need a now. Fix now and make it right, then move on to thinking about next.—Strawberry.

3. Make your lifestyle as simple and as stress-free as possible and as flexible as possible. Do at least one thing just for YOU regularly. Might be surf, might be watching your fave footy team with a pie & a beer—dunno.

4. Do one thing regularly for someone else somehow. For me, I mentor and do community radio. I’m not saving the world but it works for me. I know you've done some things in the past for some indigenous kids, don't know if you still do. Maybe you need to ramp it up at some point.

The fog ever so slowly begins to lift & whilst I still don't have a goal or a relationship or a house, I now have a pretty good life which is becoming clearer all the time. —Ntwirat [sic].

5. There's a simple exercise to improve your mood: for three weeks make a pact to think only about other people (apart from your daughter). Find others who are worst off than yourself and absorb yourself in their problems, and then do what you can to help ease their burdens. I know it sounds a bit Christian, but it's nothing to do with religion. It's just simple therapy to get your mind off yourself. Trust me, it works. It takes 21 days to change a habit of self-absorption. (Oh, and get out of the city whenever you can).—Big Dan [sic]

If you’re keen to read the orginal blog (and I recommend you do), find it here: http://www.theage.com.au/executive-style/culture/blogs/all-men-are-liars/next-20110908-1jyw6.html
I’d love to hear your advice on finding direction.

What do you do, or what have you done, to pull yourself out of a mental and philosophical rut?